


First Round Exit

by writingdumbthings



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Columbus Blue Jackets, F/M, Hockey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-13 21:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14756825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingdumbthings/pseuds/writingdumbthings





	First Round Exit

I shut my eyes tightly as the seconds ticked by. All I had been doing anyway was watching the clock. I knew deep down that the puck wasn’t going to cross the goal line twice in forty seconds for the Jackets. My heart ached as I watched the blue jerseys gather on the ice, tapping at the helmet of their goalie. The look of sadness seemed to fill every last eye on the ice of the hometown team. 

My eyes wandered until the white numbers I was on the hunt for stuck out to me. That number twenty-seven was in the line, shaking hands with the opposition that had defeated his team. His lips were moving, but even from my seat in section 115, I could still see the dread in his eyes. No one wanted this to happen so soon. That, in itself, couldn’t keep the Jackets from winning the last two games to win this series. They were out in the first round yet again.

I stood there, still cheering with the crowd as the players saluted them. It was somewhat of a good feeling standing amongst them. I imagine it was completely different on the surface of the ice. My feet still wouldn’t allow me to move. Eventually, an usher kindly asked if I could get moving. I complied and dipped down underneath the stands where a few members of the other players’ families stood. It was eerily quiet. The only sound came from a few children whining from exhaustion or chatting to others. 

The TVs scattered across the room gave a glimpse of what the dressing room was like. Reporters were already in there, asking the boys some tough questions. Just from their tone, I figured Ryan would want a little alone time before I was with him; some time just to decompress and accept things. While people began to move around me, I got my phone out. Once Ryan’s number was in the recipient line, I typed out my message. 

“Catching a ride home from Nat. You don’t have to wait around for me,” I sent… even though I knew Cam’s wife had already left. I know Ryan too well. He needs a little more time. The trip home should help him a bit more.

I got myself a Lyft to take me the handful of blocks to Ryan’s apartment. Upon walking through the door, I slid my shoes and jersey off. Taking them back to the closet, I tucked them away for now… one of them for quite some time.

Waiting for Ryan to come home was rough for me. All I could do was pace about the living room and kitchen. I was back and forth in those two rooms. My hope was to find something to busy myself with. There’s always something to fix or clean up. That’s my go to when I’m feeling a bit anxious even at late hours in the night. Nothing was sticking out to me though. I resorted to checking my phone even. If I wasn’t checking the time, I was refreshing my Instagram or Twitter feed. That made things worse. I was bombarded with posts of the Jackets’ season. It made my heart hurt for Ryan all over again.

This went on for nearly an hour. Of course I knew because my eyes were on the clock for almost every minute of it. When I heard keys being pushed into the handle, I all but froze in my spot in the kitchen. There was all of this time I had to think of what I would say to him... and I still had nothing. A panic was about to come over me as I heard the door open. 

Still, slowly I took a few steps in that direction. I kept going until I saw his frame. His eyes were low to the ground. He let his bag fall to the floor with a loud thud. I pouted at the sight even if he couldn’t see it. Gradually, he lifted his eyes to meet mine. Disappointment was written all over his face; eyes glassy with defeat. 

“Ry...” I continued to pout at him, a loss for words. Still coming up empty, I stepped close enough to wrap him up in a tight hug. There was nothing else for me to give to him right now. 

His reaction told me this was the right thing for me to do. Both of his arms came around me too; maybe even holding me tighter than I was him. The emotion that I felt coming off of this embrace was enough to make me cry for him. It’s so heartbreaking. He had been playing so well lately. The team had such high hopes for this run. For it to end in six games is so demoralizing. I couldn’t imagine the amount of disappointment he was feeling right now. This is what he trains so hard to do. This is why he puts all of the hard work in. All those long days in the gym. Even longer days on the ice. The discouraging days when he was forced to sit out numerous games from injury or questionable play. He had been through so much this season. For it to end the way it did was just crushing.

“Proud of you,” I found it in me to say. While I spoke, I rubbed my palms across his back, feeling all the tired muscles that made it up. 

He didn’t move; hardly reacted. His only response was holding me tighter. My heart broke even more. One of my hands left his back to cradle his head into my shoulder. Gently, my fingers worked there way through his hair in any desperate attempt to comfort him even more. 

I don’t know how long we stood this way. I couldn’t even begin to estimate the time. No part of me could suggest to Ryan to move. I would hold him right in this very spot all night if he needed me to. 

When he lifted his head, every last aspect of his face showed how exhausted he was. He had been through so much in the past few hours. I did my best to give him a small smile as my hand reached out to cup along his bearded jaw; my thumb gently rubbing against the edge of where his bare skin and beard hairs started to grow. After I did this a few times, he brought a hand to mine. Holding it there, he turned his face to leave a soft kiss on my palm. Aw, Ryan.

“Proud of you, babe,” I repeated. I could never tell him that enough. I don’t know how he got through some of the things he has in the past year. I was in awe of this man right now. The small smile that curled at one corner of his lips was enough for me right in this moment. He didn’t need to say anything, nor did I expect him to. 

“Why don’t you go get changed and I’ll bring you a beer,” I suggested. It’s the least he deserved right now. I wouldn’t be surprised if he asked for something harder even.

“No bath?” His smile grew a bit more.

“Don’t tease me like that...” I taunted back. I always suggest for him to take baths when he’s had a rough time... specifically with me. He always passes them up. I learned quickly that Ryan is not a bath person regardless of any suggestion I have. 

“I’ll go change,” he retracted, confirming the no bath fact. 

I gave him a playful glare as he walked on down the hall. It earned me a cackle. His playfulness was nice to hear. It was brief, but a nice contrast. 

Taking my time, I went back into the kitchen. After retrieving the Bud Light bottle from the fridge, my feet took me slowly down the hall to the bedroom. By the time I had passed the threshold, Ryan was just leaving the bathroom. He walked out, smearing both of his palms over his face. His attire was stripped down to a pair of shorts with the top band of his boxer briefs peaking out. When he dropped his hands, he took in the sight of me. It was apparent that he was trying so hard to smile, but he just couldn’t. Most nights I would be ready to pounce all over that gorgeous hunk of man standing in front of me. Tonight was different. He needed me to be at his side instead of on top or underneath him.

Walking closer, I held out the bottle to him. He took it and quickly pressed it to his lips. While he enjoyed his yeasty brew, I crawled on top of the bed, not bothering to get under the covers. Once I was settled, I heard the clink of his bottle being sat on the table next to his side of the bed. Just mere moments later, he was crawling over next to me. I held my arms opened, inviting him in. He took it happily. He placed his head back onto my shoulder; his chest laying across my own. His legs were angling away from me; nearly hanging over the edge of the bed. 

I peppered slow, gentle kisses across the side of his face. They were focused mostly along his cheek. At some points, they ventured to his forehead and jaw. I wanted to eventually get to his nose, but there was no way I could reach with the way he was lying. 

Through all of this, the tips of my fingers grazed over his back. With each touch, I just willed all of my positivity into him. Was it working? Probably not. I just didn’t want this man sad. If he was, I wanted to take it all away from him. 

My hands stopped moving about his back. He still wasn’t speaking. All I wanted to do now was cradle him and just make sure he felt secured and loved. With a hand softly massaging his scalp, the other, more free one, cupped along his jaw. Really... I just wanted to feel the soft hair along his jaw before it was gone now...

“I’m going to miss this once you shave,” I spoke just to fill the air. I was starting to get really worried about his silence. “Should keep it a couple more days.”

His quick exhale told me that he wanted to playfully scoff at that statement. It wasn’t going to happen.

“I’ll shave tomorrow,” he told me; voice slightly muffled from him being so close to me.

“Too soon,” I teased. “I’m going to need at least three more days with it.”

As if he knew exactly why I wanted him to keep it, he nuzzled more against my shoulder. It caused his chin and part of his cheek to brush against my neck. I felt the soft scratch of his beard against my skin. The tickle caused me to laugh slightly and turn into him more. 

“I love you,” he mumbled, making my heart feel something other than grief.

“I love you too,” I smiled and kissed the top of his head after I spoke. 

“You put up with my whiny ass all the time,” He snickered.

“It’s because I love you,” I cooed. 

“Means a lot,” He rambled a bit. 

“Do anything for you, Ry,” I gave him a squeeze after I said that. 

“I’d do the same for you, babe,” he countered, bringing my smile through. “It just really fucking sucks right now,” he huffed.

“Always next year,” I tried to encourage him.

“I don’t know where I’m going to be next year,” he heavily sighed once more.

“Yeah you do,” I was trying to stay positive.

“Babe...” he lifted his head, readjusting himself so he was almost perfectly centered over me. He gave me this look like ‘I don’t need to remind you that my contract’s up and there’s been a shit ton of trade rumors recently’. Trust me; I’m well aware of his situation. I stress about it more than I would ever admit to Ryan. He just doesn’t need my stress on top of his own.

“You’ll be with me,” I told him. “Hopefully super beardy like this, because damn boy,” I added with a snicker. 

My words softened him. Even in the dim lighting of our bedroom and all of that hair on his face, I could make out the slight flush in his cheeks along with the soft dimples. He was trying desperately to fight off that grin.

“I will be with you,” he stated; his smile practically taking up his whole face now.

“Always on your team, Ry,” I gave the back of his arms a soft rub. 

His face changed then. His smile was still there. It just seemed like he wanted to say so much in this moment, but he couldn’t find the right words. Everything running through his glassy gaze told me words were scrambling through his head. He didn’t need to tell me anything though. I understood. He appreciated me saying that. So he wouldn’t have to struggle, I leaned up and pressed my lips to his. That’s all that needed to be said between us right now.

When we parted, he nuzzled his nose back into the bend in my neck. The tender scratch from his beard caused a giggle to come out of me. Even though I couldn’t see him, I felt that grin against my skin. It caused my hand to reach around to run my fingers through his messy hair. In return, he kissed at that spot a few times.

“Gonna miss the beard,” I reminded him once more. 

“Maybe I’ll keep it a few extra days for you,” he muttered tiredly. I didn’t have to look at him to know he had shut his eyes. His tone gave everything away. 

“I’d like that,” I confessed.

I half expected him to taunt back with something. On any other night, he probably would. He had been through too much tonight though. He was spent in every way possible. His slowed, soft breathing told me he had quickly drifted off to sleep.

Careful not to wake him, I turned my head to plant a kiss to the top of his. A soft grunt came out of him while his arm tightened around my waist. It was a subconscious movement, but still so sweet. I kissed him once more before trying to settle into a position to sleep. The longer I lied here, the more I regretted not getting under the covers. I wasn’t cold and from the touch of Ryan’s skin, I knew he wasn’t either. It was more for security than anything. All I wanted to do was wrap Ryan up and hold him all night.

My heart still felt so many things for him. I wanted more for him like he had wanted for himself; especially this year. He needed some good things to happen to him. I guess some did throughout the playoff series. Still, there could have been so many other things that went on. Since they didn’t, our summer plans just get bumped up a bit then. It gives me more time with Ryan... and I sure hope a lot more time with that beard.


End file.
